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Satirical News Sun Mar 19 2017 21:02:00 GMT+0000 (UTC)
WHERE THE PARTY'S AT -- The news media has been ignoring the obvious truth since Donald Trump called Mexicans, "rapists and murderers." The candidate was controversial, provocative and sold money making advertisement for the networks. Money talks, but were networks making..
Ft. Leavenworth, KS -- As one of his last acts of office, President Baroque Insane Obummer commuted the sentence of Private First Class (PFC) Bradley "Chelsea" Manning, 29, who was serving a 35-year prison sentence for leaking 750,000 classified mili
Andy Kolpakov, a member of the male feminist septic community is accused of being male and dangerous, for looking the wrong way. There were calls to the police of a peeping Tom on the same block Kolpakov lived on. As he made his way back from a f...
WASHINGTON, D. C. West Wing staffers and official visitors to the White House are wearing gas masks and overshoes as they valiantly attempt to carry on the business of government despite a horrendous odor emanating from a clogged sewer line. A back..
Ever since the runaway success of Purple Rain, the 1984 album by singer Prince, rumors have swirled about unreleased recordings. Prince was stingy about releasing his less famous works to the public. But now he's dead and his relatives and associates
A US sex toy developer who designed the first talking sex robot has had to take back a prototype because during sex with a client, it chattered non-stop! A Californian male (they're all sex mad and nutters) purchased the prototype after divorcing...
Miami, FL - A one-night stand has ended in acrimony and legal action after a woman learned that the dangerous high-flying millionaire she slept with was in fact a lowly service clerk with mommy issues. "I haven't been so pissed off since the last...
Neighbors said it was just a matter of time before Mabel became a victim of a violent attack. Raised in a rural town near Tonsillmania, locking the the doors and windows at night was not a priority. But perhaps it is now. Grandaughter Matt...
Forensic Scientist Discovers Acting US Attorney General's Recommendations for Comey's Firing Was Actually Written by Dr. Harold Bornstein Late Thursday evening, Sandia Lab scientist, Dr. Irwin Corey announced the results of his analysis of Acting...
Michael Langley, a math teacher at Harrisburg High School, was reportedly unaware that puns aren't cool anymore. Chris Jarvis, a 11th grade student who has been in Langley's class for three straight years, remarks: "Mr. Langley keeps repeating th...
Determined to explain why he showed up late to work again, Larry Michaels, a department manager at Sears, convinced himself last Tuesday that traffic lights are rigged against him. "I feel like the traffic lights are conspiring to slow me down. I...
A Mickey-D's customer was betrayed by employees who ID'd him and made him wait a little extra time for his order so the food patrol could come and deny him his last meal. He didn't have it his way at Mickey-D's. Jackson went through the so calle...
A Georgia state law enforcement officer was commended for following procedure during a routine traffic stop that nearly turned tragic earlier this week. Deputy Jason Hancock continued police department tradition of shooting unarmed black men, but...